Behind the door of Day 3 of the Build a Better You calendar is –


Let’s continue with this theme we’ve got going about doing things that boost our feelings of positivity, contentment, happiness, and wellbeing. These good feelings are remarkable because the more you share them, the more you feel them. They grow when you give them away!

Yesterday I said spending more time doing what you love would boost your mood. Today my message for you is, spend as much time as you can with people you like.

When I see my clients in clinical practice, I always ask these behavioral questions (most clinicians do):

  1. Are you exercising regularly?
  2. Are you getting enough sleep?
  3. Are you being social in a positive way?

Regular exercise, sleep, and socializing are huge stress busters. If one of my clients is feeling depressed they’re usually not meeting at least one of three needs.

Spending time with people you like is some of the best medicine out there

Extroverted personality types are energized by spending time with others, so they’re no stranger to understanding the benefits of time with friends.

Introverts, the downtime you take to recharge your introvert batteries is very important. But socialization is good for you, too. For you, it’s probably easier to spend time with someone one-on-one in a quiet setting. Make a point of doing that, especially if you’re feeling low. You might dread every moment of getting ready to leave the house, but I guarantee that afterward you’ll feel really glad you did.

Spending time with people you love doesn’t have to take up your whole day

Feel like you’re too busy to spend time with your friends? First of all, that’s a surefire way to know you really need to do it!

The reality of your social availability may make socialization feel impossible. It’s not. Spending time with people doesn’t have to mean getting into your car and driving around the city or countryside.

When was the last time you Skyped or Facetimed with someone you liked (not just for work)?  Think about how you feel when you get a text message from a friend and you start chatting back and forth. Does that help you feel good, and connected? Then, that can be enough to help you through this busy time.

Never leave a conversation without doing this

When it’s finally time to wrap up a conversation with friends, don’t leave before you’ve said something positive to the other person.

  • I feel so uplifted from having seen you today.
  • Jason, you have a great sense of humor. You always know how to make me laugh.
  • I’m going to think some more about what you said.

Notice what these statements have in common? They express gratitude for the other person. And recognizing what we’re grateful for has profound impacts on our happiness.

Human beings want to feel seen and heard. These kinds of compliments lets your loved ones know you see them, you hear them, and you care. It connects you in a good way.

Happiness is contagious

Spread happiness, not colds and sniffles, this holiday season. Don’t just tell your friends and family how much you enjoy them – tell them to sign up to the Build a Better You email newsletter this December.