Susan is a fellow Internal Family Systems (IFS) practitioner with a special interest in children’s development. If you’re new to Family Systems, you might want to start out by reading a post I wrote on IFS earlier.
On the podcast I ask Susan to talk to us about parenting.
Parents today are much more stressed out than I remember my own parents being. I doubt it’s because my parents were exceptionally calm people, or that I was an exceptionally well-behaved child! I’m not the only one who seems to think parents are more stressed. According to some, there’s an epidemic of stressed parents.
Susan makes the distinction between children developing social competencies on their own versus parents cultivating those competencies for their children.
Fifty years ago, says Susan, if young Timmy joined Little League, it would be his responsibility to find a way to get to practice, and to talk to the coach if he felt the coach wasn’t letting him play in the game enough.
Now, Timmy waits for his parents to arrange for his transportation to practice. His parents will also speak to the coach about Timmy not getting to play enough.
What’s the risk?
Timmy never builds the life-critical skills of being able to talk to adults, to garner social support from friends, or even to regulate his own anxiety about asking an authority figure to make a change.
To gain a different perspective around parenting that will ease your stress and improve life for your children, check out the show.