This week on the Therapy Spot, I’d like to address the grief and sadness we feel in response to loss.
Loss is one of the many things that makes transition so difficult. Grief is a natural response to loss, whether that’s another person or simply a part of our daily routine. While grief is an opportunity to process our sadness, many of us go to great lengths to avoid confronting those feelings.
It’s easy to understand why we do this. Grief is overwhelming, especially when we haven’t been able to name it as such. Has this ever been you?
These days, I feel sad and alone most of the time. The sadness and loneliness come in waves, and sometimes I can distract myself. Sometimes I even forget. But I’m starting to worry, because the sadness is only growing inside of me.
I used to think of myself as naturally happy, and others used to describe me as someone fun. While I know I don’t look any different to my friends, on the inside I feel trapped and lost. Going out with friends and doing other things I used to enjoy just feels pointless. I like my work, I value my important relationships, but I’m just so exhausted all the time. To make things worse, I have the occasional day where everything feels good again. What’s wrong with me?
We all react differently in the wake of loss. Sometimes your striving parts push you to work harder. Maybe your party part shows up and tries to distract you socially, or numb you with alcohol. If you catch yourself thinking, “I hate being so sad, it ruins everything!” then your hating part is front and center.
It’s time to tell a different story. Instead of numbing, running from, or even hating our sadness, let’s move towards it. Remember: grief is a personal journey, and there is no “right” way to progress. So join me, and let’s talk about how to address our sadness.
If you need a little extra guidance, I encourage you to look into my new workbook. Be the One to Heal Your Self has strategies to help you write from your different parts and get to know yourself better.
“Sad” by Flickr user Loren Kerns is licensed under CC BY 2.0.